Hit & Run

7 Apr

A story I’ve had in my head for a while, and this is one of the openings I’ve written for it… Hope you enjoy!


“Daddy! Look at the funny monkey!”

The little girl pointed through the window at a small monkey doing what looked suspiciously like the Twist.

“Daddy! Daddy, look at the funny monkey! He’s dancing Daddy! Look!”

The little girl was now squashing her face up against the glass, which no doubt actually impeded her view but gave an excellent impression to her Daddy about just how exciting it all was. Daddy looked up from his brochure.

“It says here,” He read “That Rhesus monkeys are diurnal and mainly herbivorous”

The little girl slowly turned towards her Daddy, smearing the breath marks she’d made on the glass with her cheek. He continued.

“That means that they sleep at night and eat vege- Oh, look. That one really is dancing” He had glanced up to see what now looked, rather appropriately, like the Monkey. He reached for his phone to video it.

The dancing Rhesus monkey saw the frantic pocket action and knew what it meant. Once that phone was in his hand, nothing else in the world could distract the big, dumb human from it. Imperceptibly, at least to big, dumb humans, the rhesus monkey gestured and winked to a hidden unit in the bushes.

“Quickly, Daddy!” The little girl cried, “You’re missing it again!”

Daddy was trying to retrieve his phone, but the seat belt, and his belly, was slowing him down. If they had been more observant, they would have noticed the dancing monkey was not paying full attention to his moves, but rather his eyes darted around and under the car.

“Where’s the camera on this damn thing?” The little girl spun around, reached around the seat and plucked the phone out of his hand.

“Honestly, I don’t know why we have to carry around all this gubbins. I remember when a phone was for phoning-”

“Ssh!” The little girl hissed. She had unlocked the phone, found the camera, switched to HD video mode almost as soon as her Daddy had started talking.

The red light on the phone was noticed instantly. The monkey stopped dancing. He was not going to become the latest internet star, despite his dreams. His orders were to attract and hold the attention of the targets. Naturally, he had danced. However, he was also under strict orders not to be videoed putting on too good a show so he wouldn’t attract undue attention. So, he had to bury his ambitions, and work for the greater good. When the red light came on, he sighed inwardly, dropped to his haunches and started picking his nose.

“DADDY! Look at the funny monkey now!” The girl was laughing harder than ever. Daddy looked unimpressed, and dropped his eyes back to the brochure. The little girl happily videoed the funny monkey, while the funny monkey died a little inside.

The big, dumb humans were completely oblivious to the crack unit of six camouflaged monkeys that had slipped under the car from the other side. In precisely twenty-five seconds, the last monkey was counted out from under the car and was beating a tactical retreat back to the bushes, their mission complete, and the vital component captured.


5 Responses to “Hit & Run”

  1. donaldconrad 10 April 2012 at 14:38 #

    Interesting…that Rhesus monkeys could form a crack unit to pull off a clandestine caper such as this. But what, pray tell, was the vital component?

    • Mr S 11 April 2012 at 06:54 #

      Not sure yet, but whatever it is it’ll be vital in building a whole new machine.
      *whistles the Great Escape theme*

  2. writingbeard 26 April 2012 at 21:15 #

    Good stuff. Think you have successfully managed to get a tone and style to the piece that doesn’t make you think ‘children’s story’. Does have that kind of chicken run feel, aardmanesque.


  1. Gerald « Quantum Of Thought - 20 May 2012

    […] think I said before that Hit and Run is an opening and this is certainly in the same story, but i’m not sure whether it goes […]

  2. The #FridayFlash Report – Vol 3 Number 45 | Friday Flash - 30 June 2012

    […] Hit & Run by Stu ~ @stukulele ~ Humor ~ Serial […]

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